Pilot

This blog is to share more about my real life experience. I understand there is a grey area between virtual and non virtual life so I will do my best to talk about the non virtual aspects. To keep this blog interesting I will also try to discuss only recent things on my mind. I will do my best to give you the best version of my truth. Let’s get started.

I’m not sure who will read this blog or where they are from. You could be a fucking alien from a different galaxy for all I know. I am a human being, or just a being. I am going for an associates in general studies at a university and this is my third year in college.

So what do I do in real life? This is a real life blog after all…Well its hard to describe is because everyday is different. I sometimes follow a daily routine, other times I have no routine at all. Two months ago I was going to bed at 9 p.m. everynight. These past few weeks I’ve been up as late as 4 a. m.

It is really hard to conceptualize my life cause I am still attempting to make sense of it. It seems my depression is like an ocean wave, each crest and trough being roughly two months in length. Either two months of consistency, progress, and contentment or two months of chaos, self-destruction, and suicidal thoughts.

I haven’t been to class in two weeks. I lost my iphone two weeks ago too. I have no real life friends. I don’t socialize with anyone except for strangers on the internet. Walking by other people makes me feel hated and unwanted. I’ve been smoking my marijuana vape about every 2 and a half hours for about 8 days straight now. I’m high right now while writing this. I practice piano everyday at noon, though I havn’t been in a few days because it’s starting to become winter here.

So what do I do in real life? This is a real life blog after all… Well I only drink water and do not drink coffee or alcohol. I am trying to maintain a carnivore diet (which is hard because my cafeteria feeds me like a prisoner). I wear only black and white with as little brand logos as possible. Usual outfit is black socks, black/white nike sandals, black joggers, black t shirt, and black sweatshirt.